Another day

I had a reaction to the medicine the doctor gave me and I am now waiting on him to call in something else. The reaction was horrible. I thought I would go crazy.
So I am still without medicine to help.
Today has been a better day so far. I am shaky and panicky but have been out of my room until noon. I even fixed a nice lunch and did some laundry.
I also spent about 30 minutes listening to C my sweet 9yo explain every skylander to me and what their abilities are. It was nice.
I did start crying for a few minutes a bit ago.
This is all hard for me. I am a fix it kind of person and I can't fix this. Nothing I do pulls me out of this deep pit. That adds to the depression. I don't understand why it won't go away. Usually I have maybe a bad week and then I am okay. This month is different. Something has happened and I can't shake it.
I am trying and forcing myself to do things today but it's hard. I can't get the shaking to stop and the panic feeling almost overtakes me at times.
I am still reading my bible every morning and praying. That's a cause for guilt too when most of my prayers focus on me and my issues and not others.
My husband is so supportive and helpful. It's hard for him I know because he is a fix it kind of person and he can't fix this. He has been great to take the kids as much as he can though. I do know how blessed I am and I feel blessed.
I hope that the next medicine is just what I need and helps.